Having a horrible evening
I'm trying to discern whether I'm being trivial or not. It seems like every year mom is offering to give me presents to give to others. Say seven years ago it might be a pair of socks for one of my male cousins that I never see, but might be at the Christmas gathering. Before we stopped having the "official" dad's side gathering on Christmas Eve, it was presents for my cousin's kids ... even though they did not bring things for our kids. I was not concerned with them not buying for my kids, but mom was.
My dad and his sister had a disagreement over Christmas Eve a few years ago, and decided to part ways as far as the holiday goes. That was when we started our own tradition of doing Christmas Eve at my parents house, just us, my sister's family, and mom and dad. It's been great.
A cousin of mine moved "home" a few years ago, and wanted to see our side of the family (she's from dad's side) and planned to host a Christmas party at her house, a week or so before Christmas ... GREAT! No presents, go in, eat, socialize, perfect. Year before last, on her second birthday, we done cake and ice cream there for Hannah. It was so nice.
Last year we all went to a local ice cream parlor for "Christmas". Some brought gifts. I wasn't expecting that but hey. See, we do good to buy for our own kids, and for my parents. We do good to get a tree up from year to year. I did not think much of the one gift I got because it was a nice, homemade sentiment. I got word before Thanksgiving my cousin was having a party this year again, so I have been looking fwd to that. No Christmas hoopla, just dinner and socializing. I was even going to bring cake for dessert for Hannah, like we done the last time.
Then I have "the call" with mom tonight.
Come to find out this year has an entire itenerary. Social time from 5-6, dinner at 6, then storytime with the kids at 7 "about the true meaning of Christmas" (??) with gifts following. "Please bring a ten dollar gift for your child so they do not feel slighted during gift time".
I'm sorry- a ten dollar gift would be one third of what we were even getting our kids, and by george I'm not going to allow them to open it a week early so they won't feel slighted!! WWWWHHHYYYYY does gifts need to be brought into this?
Better yet, WWWHHHHYYYY do we have to be broke all the time, and especially NOW at Christmas??!! God Bless Him, my husband thinks we're going to go Christmas shopping next Friday when he gets paid again. Quite the contrary- two words- "not gonna". I remember four years ago, going through the angst of shopping on the 19th because I was going in the hospital to have Hannah on the 20th- it was misery then and I know the 23rd isn't going to be aannnyyy better. I'd just as well not buy anyone anything and tell them not to buy for us. I don't want to reign on his parade but I'm trying to figure out how he thinks we're going to find a bike for Jackson two days before Christmas!! (Mom and dad are pitching in on that one.)
So here we are, the day before the party, I'm told I must bring presents for my kids, and I have no money to get them with. Not only that- bring a covered dish. I wish I could make a "covered dish" tonight for dinner!! I'm told that the entire night is scheduled, so there's no way to do a cake and candles moment for Hannah. I now have NOTHING to give me kids, much less my daughter for her own birthday. We don't even have a tree up.
This is just like all past Christmases, everything is just to pot. Not that it was ever better than that, but something happens to remind me, our lives are pot and have not been above that one year in the past ten we've been together. I have went this entire month ignoring the fact that yes, it is this ... uhg. But now, Hannah's birthday is thrown into the mix.
I have been fighting the same headache for three days now, at times it's so bad I've been taking vicotin. My house is a mess, and Jay is wanting to leave the day after Christmas to drive to Alabama. It's just not in me. I do not want to go. I think if he's going to take a week off of work, he should spend it at home helping me do *something* with this apartment, like he promised me 11 months ago :o( So I have *that* lingering over my head now, too.
The kids have been absolute hellions today, well, that's what my nerves say. Jackson seems to be constantly bugging Hannah. Hannah is into this squealing business that is literally on my last nerve. Why Jackson thinks it's funny is beyond me. They know I do not feel good yet insist on coming to me with trivial things. Jackson just come in here, pounced on my bed, and as I told him to leave, he just smiled and walked out. Sounds like defiance if you ask me! /shaking head
On a good note, I am on my last 16 oz of water for the day. That's probably the best thing that's happened. But then again, we run out of milk, and have nothing else BUT! water to drink. But that's ok. My face will thank me in a week if I keep this up. On a not so good note, my remaining 7 points will be busted out of the water after Jay comes home with Papa Johns in two hours. I'm starving. Starving and nothing to fix here except for banana bread. Granted it's a cooking light recipe, but not sufficient to make one full. Uhg
Lord please let this be the last Christmas we spend broke and unmedicated.
My dad and his sister had a disagreement over Christmas Eve a few years ago, and decided to part ways as far as the holiday goes. That was when we started our own tradition of doing Christmas Eve at my parents house, just us, my sister's family, and mom and dad. It's been great.
A cousin of mine moved "home" a few years ago, and wanted to see our side of the family (she's from dad's side) and planned to host a Christmas party at her house, a week or so before Christmas ... GREAT! No presents, go in, eat, socialize, perfect. Year before last, on her second birthday, we done cake and ice cream there for Hannah. It was so nice.
Last year we all went to a local ice cream parlor for "Christmas". Some brought gifts. I wasn't expecting that but hey. See, we do good to buy for our own kids, and for my parents. We do good to get a tree up from year to year. I did not think much of the one gift I got because it was a nice, homemade sentiment. I got word before Thanksgiving my cousin was having a party this year again, so I have been looking fwd to that. No Christmas hoopla, just dinner and socializing. I was even going to bring cake for dessert for Hannah, like we done the last time.
Then I have "the call" with mom tonight.
Come to find out this year has an entire itenerary. Social time from 5-6, dinner at 6, then storytime with the kids at 7 "about the true meaning of Christmas" (??) with gifts following. "Please bring a ten dollar gift for your child so they do not feel slighted during gift time".
I'm sorry- a ten dollar gift would be one third of what we were even getting our kids, and by george I'm not going to allow them to open it a week early so they won't feel slighted!! WWWWHHHYYYYY does gifts need to be brought into this?
Better yet, WWWHHHHYYYY do we have to be broke all the time, and especially NOW at Christmas??!! God Bless Him, my husband thinks we're going to go Christmas shopping next Friday when he gets paid again. Quite the contrary- two words- "not gonna". I remember four years ago, going through the angst of shopping on the 19th because I was going in the hospital to have Hannah on the 20th- it was misery then and I know the 23rd isn't going to be aannnyyy better. I'd just as well not buy anyone anything and tell them not to buy for us. I don't want to reign on his parade but I'm trying to figure out how he thinks we're going to find a bike for Jackson two days before Christmas!! (Mom and dad are pitching in on that one.)
So here we are, the day before the party, I'm told I must bring presents for my kids, and I have no money to get them with. Not only that- bring a covered dish. I wish I could make a "covered dish" tonight for dinner!! I'm told that the entire night is scheduled, so there's no way to do a cake and candles moment for Hannah. I now have NOTHING to give me kids, much less my daughter for her own birthday. We don't even have a tree up.
This is just like all past Christmases, everything is just to pot. Not that it was ever better than that, but something happens to remind me, our lives are pot and have not been above that one year in the past ten we've been together. I have went this entire month ignoring the fact that yes, it is this ... uhg. But now, Hannah's birthday is thrown into the mix.
I have been fighting the same headache for three days now, at times it's so bad I've been taking vicotin. My house is a mess, and Jay is wanting to leave the day after Christmas to drive to Alabama. It's just not in me. I do not want to go. I think if he's going to take a week off of work, he should spend it at home helping me do *something* with this apartment, like he promised me 11 months ago :o( So I have *that* lingering over my head now, too.
The kids have been absolute hellions today, well, that's what my nerves say. Jackson seems to be constantly bugging Hannah. Hannah is into this squealing business that is literally on my last nerve. Why Jackson thinks it's funny is beyond me. They know I do not feel good yet insist on coming to me with trivial things. Jackson just come in here, pounced on my bed, and as I told him to leave, he just smiled and walked out. Sounds like defiance if you ask me! /shaking head
On a good note, I am on my last 16 oz of water for the day. That's probably the best thing that's happened. But then again, we run out of milk, and have nothing else BUT! water to drink. But that's ok. My face will thank me in a week if I keep this up. On a not so good note, my remaining 7 points will be busted out of the water after Jay comes home with Papa Johns in two hours. I'm starving. Starving and nothing to fix here except for banana bread. Granted it's a cooking light recipe, but not sufficient to make one full. Uhg
Lord please let this be the last Christmas we spend broke and unmedicated.
posted by CalvaryGirl at 7:41 PM
2 Comments:
Wendy, don't feel bad about not having a lot of gifts for your kids.
We've only ever done one gift per person here, and they are small gifts in the $5-25 dollar range usually. This year we're going to let the girls each pick out something small for each other as well. Other family members always give the kids gifts too, but I think even if it was only our small gifts they wouldn't feel slighted. Maybe because they've never known any different. But Christmas isn't all about the gifts, anyway.
((Many hugs)) to you.
Thanks ((((A))))
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